Baked Eggs

We're back with breakfast! It's been a while, but I proffer onto you yet another Cooking with B.S. breakfast recipe. I think after making Skip's Scramble I was a little burnt out the breakfast food group. If you're wondering what's in this food group, it's mainly the stuff on the top of the pyramid.

Sure baked eggs isn't the best looking dish but you know what? Like most things that look messy, once you dig into it's pretty darn good. I'm sure there's some sort of inner beauty metaphor here, but who needs that with good photography.

Makin bacon!

Side note: Fermented black garlic is my new favorite ingredient. It's sweeter and less intense than your average garlic. I found mine at Trader Joe's. I highly recommend putting it in your next dish, even if it's some sort of sugar cookie.

Baked Eggs

• 5 Eggs
• 1 cup Half & Half
• 4 Bacon Strips cooked
• 3 cloves Black Fermented Garlic chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon Italian Seasoning 
• 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
• 1/3 cup White Cheddar grated
• 5 slices of Sourdough Bread toasted 

1. Preheat the oven to 375°
2. In a small bowl mix the black garlic in with the half & half. 
3. Lay the bacon strips in the pan you're going to be baking the eggs in. Or if you're feeling ambitious and good about your cholesterol level you can make a bacon weave on the bottom of the pan.
4. Pour the half & half over the bacon. Crack the eggs over the half and half, be sure to evenly space them in the pan.
5. Top the eggs with the Italian seasoning, cayenne pepper, and white cheddar.
6. Place in oven for 15 minutes. (Don't worry if you happen to forget it for 20 minutes while you're exploring travel pictures on tumblr, it'll still taste great, the eggs will just be a little overdone.) 
7. Eat with toast and enjoy your morning by having a conversation with whomever you're sharing this dish with. 

I think what makes breakfast food so popular is the fact that even if it doesn't look good, it still usually tastes good. We know what to expect from it. We know after a cold night there's something warm and comforting to help us welcome the day. We know that conversations over breakfast food are the most important, even if they're about nothing. 

These eggcellent photos by Katy Weaver

Bacon Granny Smith Apple Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Everyone loves a good grilled cheese sandwich. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, sometimes a grilled cheese sandwich is the perfect lunch. Yes, even lactose intolerant people love grilled cheeses, though their colons don't. So get out your holy cheese and pray to Cheezus Crust, and make this divine grilled cheese sandwich or are you a naan believer?

In the words of Buster Bluth, "I was told there would be grilled cheese." This isn't any old grilled cheese though, it's a grilled cheese that puts all others to shame. Sure, you could go with something simple and safe, but what's the fun in that? I personally don't understand people who take the safe route; life is for living, so add some apple and bacon to that sandwich! Some people will say apples don't belong on a sandwich, but let them talk and have their wrong opinion. They don't know the joy of something weird and different, so they can enjoy their meal of quiet judgement while you eat one of the best grilled cheese sandwiches of your life.

Bacon Granny Smith Apple Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Yields one sandwich

• 2 slices of Sourdough Bread
• 2 tablespoons Butter
• 3 oz. Tillamook Cheddar Cheese grated 
• 2 oz. Gruyere cheese grated
• 1.5 Bacon Slices cooked
• 1 Granny Smith Apples thinly sliced 
• 1 teaspoon Dijon Mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon Black Pepper freshly ground

1. Heat up two CLEAN skillets over medium heat. That's right two. 
2. Butter one side of each slice of yo' bread. 
3. Add the mustard and pepper to one slice of bread (on the non-butter side, but you're clever so you probably figured that out on your own). 
4. Pile on the cheeses. Stack 2 apple slices and the bacon strips to the pre-sandwich. Top it off with the other slice of bread, butter side up.
5. Place in one of the hot skillets. Let cook for 30 seconds. Take the other hot skillet and place on top of the sandwich and press down. This will help melt the cheese and make it easier to flip. After a minute or so, flip the sandwich over and continue cooking until both sides are golden brown. 
6. Serve with a little salad or some tomato or  butternut squash soup. 

It's that easy to mix up the everyday routine and make something different and delicious. Don't be afraid of people judging your fruity sandwich. Go ahead and make this great sandwich, because if you don't I'll be judging you.

Say cheese, all photos by Katy Weaver 

Breakfast Sushi

I'm pretty sure this post dishonors an entire country's culinary culture, but you know what? This breakfast sushi was delicious, so try making it yourself before you start leaving angry comments about how culturally insensitive this is (I'm looking at you tumblr). If reappropriating cultures and making them your own isn't why America fought in the Spanish-American War then I don't know what's what anymore. 

This nigiri style breakfast sushi was inspired by the fact that it seemed like a good idea. And like most initial ideas, it works. Even though it looks complicated, the simplistic approach is what makes it successful. Over-thinking ruins most things like dishes, relationships, and jokes about over thinking because you can't think of some third item to list.

Sushi Rice

To be honest I used Alton Brown's recipe for sushi rice. It's a good one, which can be found here.

Avocado Hollandaise Sauce

Once again I'm going to send you elsewhere to find this recipe, but it's my own recipe so I don't feel bad about doing it. Anyway the recipe can be found here.

Maple Soy Sauce

• 1/3 part Soy Sauce
• 2/3 part Maple Syrup
• Dash of Fish Sauce

1. In a bowl whisk everything together. The reason I'm using ratios is so you can create as much or as little as you need.

Breakfast Sushi

1. After your rice has cooled rinse your hands with cold water and form the rice balls with your hands. Squeeze to ensure the rice stays together. Make small egg-like shapes and plate.
2. Place a dollop of the avocado hollandaise sauce on the rice to ensure the breakfast meats stay in place. 
3. As for meats I used thick cut jowl bacon, breakfast sausage, and eggs. You can choose whatever you think would be best on them (I'm looking at you vegetarians and your ridiculous and futile attempt to create fake meat).
4. After placing the meats on the ball of rice, drizzle the sauces over the top and sprinkle some sesame seeds on them as well.

Breakfast food is the best food, and the joy of food is that you can be fun with it, so get out there and make a breakfast version of your favorite food! As always these mind-blowing photos are by Katy Weaver. Join us next week when we reheat some Eggos.

Skip's Scramble

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What have we always said is the most important thing? Breakfast.

In honor of the return of Arrested Development on the 26th and the one year anniversary of this blog we decided to make Skip's Scramble. 

Do not make the Skip's Scramble. 

The scramble is of course the standout dish of Skip's Bistro from Arrested Development, first featured in the episode, "

Out on a Limb

." This is the only dish that's epic enough to celebrate the return of Arrested Development and the one year blogiversary. You'll notice that all the dishes within the scramble are Arrested Development themed, and yes I even threw some cornballs in there. Sure, this post is a little different than previous ones, but after a year I figured take things to another level and push myself a little harder. I knew that to make it through this dish all I had to do was keep my head down and power through.

Skip's Scramble is the perfect dish to snack on while you binge watch the new season of Arrested Development on Netflix.

Skip's Scramble

• Everything on the menu

I Just Blue Myself Berry Waffles

Yields 6 square waffles

• 1 1/2 cup Flour
• 3 1/2 teaspoon Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 tablespoon Sugar
• 1 1/4 cup Milk
• 1 Egg
• 3 tablespoons melted Butter
• 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Flavoring
• 1/2 cup frozen Blueberries

1. Strip down to your cut-offs and paint yourself blue.
2. Okay good now you're ready to start making waffles. Preheat your waffle iron. 
3. Mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Then mix in the milk, egg, cinnamon, and vanilla flavoring. Once everything is mixed together to a chunky chunky consistency add the blueberries. Stir the blueberries into the mixture and make sure the blueberries turn the batter blue or else you'll be blue (emotionally, not the color).  
4. Plop the batter into your waffle iron and cook until crisp. I would give you an exact time, but your waffle iron is probably really weird and cooks differently than mine.

Banana Stand Pancakes

Finally a breakfast item that will make your banana stand.

Yields 8 large pancakes

• 1 1/4 cup Flour
• 2 t Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1 tablespoon Sugar
• 1 cup Milk
• 1 Egg
• 3 tablespoons melted Butter
• 1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Flavoring
• 2 mushed Bananas
• 1/4 cup Nuts
• 1/2 cup Chocolate Chips

1. Promote yourself to Mr. Manager. Then mix all the dry ingredients together in a mixing bowl. Mash up the bananas in a separate bowl then use a spatula to scrape them into the mixing bowl containing the dry ingredients. Add the remaining ingredients, adding the nuts and chocolate chips last. 
2. Cook on a skillet over medium high heat until golden brown on each side. 

Cornball Cakes

Yo soy Loco por los Cornballs tortas!

Yields 10 cornballs

• 1/2 cup Cornmeal
• 1/2 cup Flour
• 1 teaspoon Baking Powder
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1/4 cup Sugar
• 1 Egg
• 1/3 cup Milk
• 1 teaspoon Olive Oil

1. Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl. Mix in the rest of the ingredients and get ready to start cornballing.
2. Heat oil in a skillet, enough to fry the cornballs. Use a large cereal spoon to scoop the batter into the pan. 

Banger in the Mouth

Oh I forgot here in the states it's called a sausage in the mouth.

• Spicy Pork Sausage

1. If you don't know how to cook sausage then you might need to reevaluate everything in your life.

Balboa Bay Bacon

The key to good bacon is to keep it fresh!

• Bacon

1. Fry in a pan over medium-high heat until crisp.

Model Home Fries

These aren't just a Homefill.

Yields 2 servings

• 3 red potatoes cubed
• 1/2 teaspoon salt 
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 3 tablespoons Olive oil

1. Preheat the oven to 400.
2. Toss the potatoes with the olive oil in a mixing bowl. Once coated with oil sprinkle the spices over the potatoes. Place on a cooking sheet and place in oven.
3. Cook for 10 minutes. Use a spatula to flip the potatoes, continue cooking until golden brown and crispy on the outside. Should be around another 10 minutes of cooking.

Fried Eggs Her? (Not Pictured)

• 2 eggs
• Salt & Pepper to taste

1. Break egg over skillet on medium-high heat.
2. Cook for about 45 seconds and then flip.
3. Cook for 30 seconds. Done.

Hot Ham Water

It's so hammy, and yet there's a smack of ham to it.

• 4 slices of ham

1. Place on skillet over medium-high heat.
2. Cook until slightly brown on each side.
3. Serve with bacon, because ham and bacon go well together.

Scrambled Eggs (Scramende Style)

If you Google this recipe, no results will be found.

• 4 Eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon Paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon Sweet Basil Flakes
• 1/4 teaspoon of Salt & Pepper
• 1/4 cup shredded Cheddar Cheese

1. Mix everything in a bowl. Pour into a small skillet and use a rubber spatula to scramble the eggs while they cook.
2. If they look done, then the eggs are probably overcooked.

Vodka on the Rocks with a Piece of Toast

• Vodka
• Ice
• 1 slice of Bread

1. Pour some vodka over ice and remember that it's only 8 am.
2. Make a piece toast.

Poisoned Muffins made by the Muffin Man

1. Just follow this recipe and add your favorite poison, might I suggest something with a bitter almond taste?
2. Place in muffin basket.

It Ain't Easy Being Egg Whites, It Ain't Easy Being Hash Browns

Breakfast food brings everyone together and patches cultural divides.

• 2 large Russet Potatoes grated
• 1/4 cup worth of grated Onion
• Salt & Pepper
• Olive Oil
• 2 Eggs yolk removed

1. Rince the potatoes. Grate the them into a mixing bowl. Squeeze out the juices over the sink. This will make the potatoes crispier once cooked. Grate the onion in with the potatoes. Mix together with the salt and pepper.
2. Pour enough oil into a pan to make a 2 cm-deep pool of oil. Heat over medium high. 
3. Place the potatoes in the pan. Cook for 5 minutes. Flip. Cook until golden brown.
4. Scramble the egg whites in a bowl with salt and pepper. Cook over medium high heat until cooked.

So there you have it, Skip's Scramble. Don't order the Skip's Scramble. We couldn't even make it halfway through it. Though if you're planning on throwing a viewing party I wouldn't dismiss the scramble. This dish pairs nicely with some GoBias Coffee.

All photos taken by the amazing 

Katy Weaver

On the next post of Cooking with B.S.-->

Brian discovers an old recipe from a cookbook from the 1900's. He discribes it to Katy and she rolls her eyes. After adding spices and other things they didn't have in the 1900's he makes "Beef Juice" taste somewhat edible. And Katy somehow makes "Beef Juice" look appetizing.

I need a favor

Lemon Bacon Shrimp Pasta with Chard

What to make for dinner? We've all found ourselves asking ourselves this question while only having the kitchen only be filled with leftover ingredients of meals past. That's exactly what happened with this dish. It was born out of hunger and the impatience of waiting for a pie to finish baking. Why, yes the pie is indeed going to be the next post. 

Everyone has that one food they can not stand, for me it's brussels sprouts, I know it's a bit cliché, but I don't even like them enough to find a recipe that makes them taste good enough to choke them down. A certain photographer's least favorite food, as weird as it sounds, is bacon, since we basically only had bacon, shrimp, and chard in the fridge, I tried concocting a dish that would hopefully appeal to the both of us.  Not to spoil the end result, but a dual appealing dish was not the result. 

I've thought about it and I'm not going to post the actual recipe on here, because it was sort of a throw a bunch of stuff in a pan and see how it turns out kind of dish. I will tell you what's actually in it, because I'm that nice. Even with just the listed ingredients you should be able to recreate it or creative something simliar of your own.

Lemon Bacon Shrimp Pasta with Chard

• Shrimp (16/20 size)
• Jowl bacon cut into tiny strips
• Lemon juice and zest
• Onion chopped
• Garlic minced
• White wine
• Angel hair pasta
• Chard chopped
• Basil out of jar (I know I'm ashamed of me too, but it was the only basil we had in the kitchen)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Goat cheese

Serves 4 small portions

Sometimes not using a recipe can be liberating, being able to free yourself from the shackles of Betty Crocker. Take this post as a challenge for the inner culinary explorer within you. See if you can take the inspiration and make it your own with what you have and hopefully make a dish that everyone will enjoy!

Photos by a non-bacon loving Katy Weaver